Mike's Angry Reply to the 7 most common iPad Complaints
Warning: You may find the following offensive if you are a n00b or Win-tard.
Ok, so everyone knows I'm a Mac fanboy, and although I rarely engage with retard Win-trolls online I feel it necessary to step in over the hype and anti-hype over the iPad, and since I'm the only Apple employee out of my 400+ facebook friend circle, I'm taking it as my solemn duty to defend, nay explain, what the iPad is and who its for. Why bother? Because its incredibly frustrating explaining things to people who just repeat whatever negative drivel they read online from other Win-tards! Seriously, no original thought at all?? Ok let me dissect all the anti-hype and set some things straight:
1. "It doesn't have Flash"
I've been waiting for this one for a while. I'm a webdeveloper. I code in HTML, CSS, PHP, MySQL, Actionscript 3.0 (Flash), Javascript and a few others, and I actually know what Flash is and what its useful for, that being said...
Flash is stupid. Most of the flash objects you see online are ADS. If you turn flash off you won't get those annoying animated flash popup advertising blocks. So what about websites made entirely in Flash? Well, they're slow loading, not detected or viewable in most mobile phones, cannot be read and indexed by google (so will always rank low on searches). They're difficult to update and maintain. Designers with no care of usability don't think about those things because Flash websites allow them to make pretty, but never functional, websites.
Flash is best for promotional microsites, NOT the actual websites you use daily. So how do you get those nice animations without Flash? JAVASCRIPT, the much safer, faster, easier method which PRO web developers always choose because it can do everything Flash can do without the headache.
People who argue they need Flash usually don't even know what its good for. Its good for games right? Well if you think Flash games are worth fighting for, great, but if that's the level of gaming you engage with (casual gaming) please...get a job, get a hobby, do something more constructive with your time...like read up on all the things you can do on a basic Mac which you can't do on Windows!
**By the way, Adobe just announced that .fla, the predominant Flash object format used online, is about to be made obsolete.
2. "No multitasking."
When I ask people what they need multitasking for, they usually go blank or they tell me about what they do on their laptop/PC. There are very few MOBILE devices capable of handling multitasking well. The ones that CAN are running applications that look like they were made in 1980. Apple does not support multitasking because you just can't run an OPENGL 3D game while multitasking, and that's exactly what n00bs will do, and then complain about how slow their iPhone/iPad is at doing 20 things at once. Hello! Its a phone, not a freikking computer. There are PHYSICAL limits on how much it can do without draining the tiny battery, or overheating and exploding in your face. Hence by not multitasking Apple is saving your life.
Apple win. Win-tard FAIL.
What applications exactly do you need to run simultaneously on the iPad? If you're playing a game on your PC, don't you close everything else to get the best performance?
You don't actually need to multitask because of state-saves which are an essential part of almost all apps on the iPhone/iPod Touch. You run a word-processing document, hit the home button, come back to it later and it will be in exactly the same state that you left it (autosaving by itself).
Think about what you're holding in your hand. Its a tiny device. Its not meant to do lots of advanced tasks at once or the CPU has to work more, creating more heat, reducing the battery, causing you to complain about how short the battery life is!
There are physical limits to all mobile devices, so unless you can break Moore's Law, The laws of Thermodynamics and come up with an infinitely charged battery cell, these are the limitations of the software on iPhones and iPads.
3. "Its just a big iPod Touch/Its just a watered down Mac."
Uh, no. Its a NEW MARKET SEGMENT between the iPhone/iPod Touch and Macs. Yes apple is not putting all the features in so you have to buy multiple products, which is a pain if you're cheap. No-one's forcing you to buy them...and if you do buy them, the great thing about Apple devices is that they all work beautifully together during all your different usage needs.
Want to make a call? Just use the iPhone (which you carry in your pocket). Want a bigger screen to read a book or watch a movie on the train, pull the 1.5pound (lightest Tablet in the market) iPad out of your bag. If you want more power to do your work, use a Mac Laptop/Desktop.
Its MEANT to be in-between both segments.
Apple is a company, meaning they are trying to make money by solving people's needs. Just because the iPad doesn't solve your need doesn't mean its a bad product, because I guaran-damn-tee you that in 2 years the number of iPad sales will be in the hundreds of millions.
4. "Why didn't they just use Mac OS X."
It is running Mac OS X, so is the iPhone, just a smaller Shell. People really have no idea what they're talking about and it makes my head hurt.
5. "Battery not long enough."
This one really ticks me off because I actually know the chemistry behind how batteries work. If you actually look at the portable market, the primary battery design breakthroughs are pioneered by Apple. Apple was the FIRST to have the longer lasting, faster charging Li-Po batteries standard on all of its product line. Apple was the FIRST to use rectangular battery cells which decreased waste space in battery cell layout (without sacrificing charge). Apple was the first 8 hour battery...and getting past that is VERY difficult simply because of the way batteries work.
Batteries work according to Le Chatelier's Principle of systems at equilibrium. A battery cell is an unstable equilibrium between two materials (anode and cathode) and an ion displacement medium. The materials of the anode and cathode exchange places producing a current when a circuit is supplied, until the anode is fully 'eaten up'. Feeding energy back into the system (charging) reverses the process and builds up the anode again. This repeats over and over. Because the anode and cathode are finite, and each mix of chemicals can only yield a certain output of current based on their particle makeup (how many electrons/ions they release), APPLE HAS NO CONTROL OVER INCREASING BATTERY LIFE. If you want a battery that lasts longer, you have to take out features that are prioritized less important and focus on essentials (that's good design). That means choosing parts that require less energy, such as the Apple CPU chip they put in. An Intel chip has a much higher heat profile and as such consumes battery faster (albeit while producing more cpu power). You don't need higher CPU power if you reduce the Shell of the OS however, and as such limit all program demands.
If you can improve battery performance without limiting power draining units in the device you're either God or Nikola Tesla, and if you're the former: I'd like an iPad for free please.
***People who don't like learning or thinking would have skipped over that explanation because they have no interest in actually knowing what they're complaining about. Palm-slap to the forehead.
6. "No camera."
If they put a camera in, everyone in the world would use it as a video-phone with Skype and Voip calling, and that's exactly what AT&T doesn't want. So if you're wondering why there are no camera's...blame AT&T not Apple.
Same reason the iPod Touch didn't have a camera on last refresh too by the way. Wifi/3G application platforms with camera's are a big red flag for Telco companies, especially monopolies. Imagine the lost revenue if everyone suddenly made free IDD calls through Skype the world over. Right, Apple sued.
7. "No HDMI."
What the heck?? How many computers in the market output full HD 1080i??? What kind of video card do you think you can actually fit inside a device that's only half and inch thick?? Its the video card that determines the resolution of video output, and therefore the relevant adapter like HDMI. Not to mention that HDMI also outputs audio within one cable, and I doubt there are that many video cards for computers that are capable of outputting full HD resolution.
People are tards. Seriously. Don't even know what they're talking about.
7. "The name is funny."
Yes...yes it is, AND EVERYONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS IT! :). Do you know what the device name is for any of the other brand's competing products? How about their model numbers (which is often the only thing that distinguishes them on a spec sheet)?
I bet you in 5 years people won't associate the word "Pad" with anything other than the iPad.
MacBook, MacBook Air, MacBook Pro, Mac Pro, iMac, iPad, Mac Mini, iPod Shuffle/Nano/Classic/Touch and iPhone. There you go, the entire Apple product line, each with a target market, each with easily distinguishable traits to tailor to each customer's needs. Each with a memorable and distinctive name. Easy.
One closing point.
This is not the first time Apple has released a device with a whole lot of people trying to sound smart by pointing out what it doesn't have. Case in point: the iPhone. Here are some of the negative comments about the iPhone before its launch which many of you would have said too I'm sure!
1. "I can't type on that kind of keyboard"/"Typing on it is slow".
2. "Battery life is short"
3. "Blackberry has free SMS to other Blackberry users"
4. "Camera sucks"
5. "Not compatible with bluetooth devices"
And now the counterpoints for each:
1. I challenge anyone. 2 thumb typing on the iPhone is fastest I've ever been on a phone because of the autocorrection and text prediction. One handed typing on the iPad will be even faster.
2. Uh, it has a MASSIVE 3.5 inch screen which you actually USE for internet and gaming. Using the screen more creates more LIGHT and HEAT (from the CPU). Where does that energy come from? The battery, and I mentioned why you can't improve battery chemistry magically earlier.
3. So does the iPhone, with one of the hundreds of instant messenger/voip/chat programs. How about just chat on Facebook? Easy right...only on the iPhone....n00b!
4. Yes, yes it does I agree with you. If you want a good camera, get a Sony Ericsson Phone or a Canon. But you'll be sacrificing a lot of things just for the camera. For example, the most advanced and user friendly mobile internet browsing platform, 140,000 apps, 45% of which are free, and so, so, so much more!
5. Uh, yes they are, and we sell bluetooth compatible devices in our stores.
Just like with the iPhone, the iPhone 3Gs, even the iPod Touch...there were a lot of complaints pre-launch, yet Apple is dominating each market. It has the most mp3 players in the world, the fastest and largest growing mobile phone segment in the world (beating players that have been doing it for 15 years).
How has Apple had so much success? Because people who buy Apple products never buy anything else in that segment once they try Apple. You have an iPod? You will only ever replace it with another iPod. That's a statistical fact, because Apple has the best solution to your needs, and the iPad is a solution to a need you don't even know you have yet.
If you're not on Apple's side, you're missing out. I'm a pro on both windows and mac, and mac is better. Not cos its pretty, but because it always does what i want it to do without ANY headache, and that's something no other company can lay claim to and deliver consistently.
/rant.
Phew, good to get all that off my chest.
